Judgement

I was talking to my grandpa earlier today about dating. I said, "I tend to give such and such a girl a chance..." he cut me off right there, saying that that statement alone implies elitism. Who am I to decide who gets a chance or not. I then tried to continue by saying,"...because I need all the chances I can get." I fought his statement saying that he didn't let me finish my sentence, which didn't sound elitist at all. In his effort to be right, and continue teaching he said a few other things in return. He told me that I had a dichotomy of elitism and self degradation in me, and also that I needed to say the positive instead of the negative first because many people will judge me based on what I say first. So instead of saying what I just said, I would reverse it by saying, "Because I need all of the chances that I can get, I continue to give such and such girl a chance."

As far as his other statement is concerned, the dichotomy of self degradation and elitism, my question is this; Isn't that what we're taught in the gospel? Not that we are better than anyone, but that we are less than the dust of the earth, and yet our worth is eternal and unmeasurable? Based on that, I would say that my paradigm is on.

Anyway, back to the fact that I said I needed to place the positive first for judgement purposes. I think he's right. Not necessarily that the positive must be placed first, but that people are quick to judge based on what they hear first. I think that that is a valid point, and one to be very aware of. I have judged and been judged so very quickly that it is disgusting. The odd thing about quick judgement is that none of us think that we are doing it even when we are. We think that we have gather sufficient facts and that it is time to make our judgement and move on. It is tricky to know when it is time to move on, because we don't want to linger in a negative place, so how do we know when we've learned sufficiently and when we need to move on. This is why I decide to rely so heavily on the Lord, because there is no one right answer. This is why we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost. It bothers me on occasion when the people who love me chastise me for lingering in an area too long. I'm not saying that they are always wrong, because sometimes we naturally stagnate in some ways in life. However, I'm not saying that they are always right either. I am intelligent, this is my life, I have the gift of the Holy Ghost just as well as they.

This brings up another point. I have been taught in life to gather information from many areas and make a decision on my own, based upon the information that I've gathered. I get so irritated after I've made a decision and people I love come and second guess me... Are you sure you know what you're doing? So I'll rethink, and reevaluate the situation to death, and never act. Which only brings more criticism and more concern as they wonder why I am not acting. On the other side of the coin, often when I do act, they'll get irritated because I did things my own way instead of doing exactly what they said. What kind of Hell is this? Talk about a lose lose situation. Please excuse the language. I want people around me who will give me their opinion once and respect when I've made up my mind. I know I bring the plague on myself when I hesitate to act. I'm just talking about the ideal here :)

Anyway, this blog post is kind of a conglomeration of somewhat random thoughts. I guess I want to end with this idea, based on scripture, to be careful how we judge because we will be judged on the same type of judgement. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be judged on the hypocritical type judgement that I sometimes unknowingly deliver based on the little information I've gathered.